I can never sleep before a big day

So, here I am again, restless in the middle of the night with only this blank page waiting to record the spiderweb in my head.

To say the last couple of weeks have been a trip would be an understatement.  I’ve been in so many different worlds at once:  days spent in the NICU in the world of wondering what will happen to the little Baffler and my dear friends, his parents; stolen nights and lunches catching up, tossing back and trying to relate to what is happening or has happened to friends and family; internet searches for plane tickets, weather patterns and ports of call trying to get back to his loving arms; and the excitement, nervousness and preparation of a job opp, proposal and interview.  Did I mention I organized housing, wheels and a phone while I’m here?  Oh, and I successfully negotiated filing my taxes, our wills, Wanda Sykes, a new (repaired) wedding ring, and both Eeyore’s and Andy Keating’s birthdays.  Pfew.  No wonder I’m tired.

I’ve swung the pendulum here: should I stay or should I go?  I’ll be where I said I wanted in a week – what next?  How will I ever leave her?  How long can I stay away from him?  I’m glad I’m not doing that anymore, oh wait, here I go.  And, thank you for being a friend, I’m still me.

I’ve not missed my house, enjoyed some of my favorite things and driven to things shut down.  I’ve been happy for friends, missed my man and fell all over again for my life.

In two short days, I’ll be back, but gone again, too.  hrmpf